God has many names- Abba, Father, Healer, Soild Rock, My Foundation, Emmanuel- to me- God is my Counselor! Going through my bad day and the ones that followed it, there was no one for me to talk to about my feelings. No one to vent to so to speak...not without being killed.
My escape from this life was always youth group. I learned to love the people there and actually made some lifelong friends, which for me was very new because we had always moved so much, I was used to friends coming and going. I mean, even the word fri[end] ends with "end". Once my relationship with God began, I would pray all day for wisdom and that He would teach me what love is. Since I was told, "I love you" while being raped, you can only imagine my idea of love and how warped it must have been! Even my parents noticed a difference at home. We had this routine of kissing my parents on the cheek and saying, "love you goodnight, see you in the morning". I stopped doing this.
I remember my mom asking me one time, "Misty, do you not love us anymore?" I replied very sure, "No, I don't". Because in my mind, love hurt. I wanted as far away from love as I could get. But I was confused. "God is love"...????? That made NO sense to me whatsoever. I mean, how could love be a good thing? Everyone was talking about God's love being all these good things at church and here I am doing everything I can to avoid this 4 letter word!
God had His way with me, and for that I am grateful! I began a Bible study workbook at church called "Experiening God" and it lead me through my Bible to passages that explained WHO GOD IS AND WHAT HIS LOVE IS! When I read this in my Bible, I wanted it immediately.! I wanted this kind of love. I began to understand that the "love" that was demonstrated to me while being raped was in fact not love at all.
I read Romans 5:8, "But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Ah ha! God didn't want or need me to be blamless, to be pure, to be perfect, or righteous to die for me. He showed me that night for the first time what love is. He laid down his own life for me and didn't wait for me to deserve it. No- he did it "while I was still sinning."
I remember Brad telling me one time, "Misty, if you were the only person on Earth, Christ still would've died...." WOW....but its the truth! He died for every single one of us- no matter how unworthy we are! There was only ONE person worthy of that death that could pay for our sins, and that was Jesus because it had to be a perfect sacrifice! And since he was the only perfect person, His number was called and He followed through...took ALL our sin on Him, even while we were still sinning, and DIED! Not an easy "die in your sleep" kinda death- no He suffered, bled, was beaten, and willfully died the worst imaginable death of all- for me and for you! It was that day I began to TRUST GOD!
As each day passed, He was the one I talked to about everything. I have books and books of journal entries and prayers and confessions that only God has seen to this day! Somedays I think back and almost blame the people around me for not putting me in some kind of counseling... ( I was pretty messed up emotionally- that was obvious). But no one ever offered because I denied that anything was wrong...only out of fear of being killed. Inside I was dying to tell everyone because I wanted it to be over!
I woke up with God every morning and went to school with Him every day. I went home with Him on the bus and I slept next to Him at night! He held my hand every where I went! He does to this day! I told Him everything!!! I mean everything! And I never heard His audible voice, but I can tell you there were moments I honestly beleive I felt His arms around me, holding me close to Him, telling me to trust Him. At some of the really low points, I can almost still feel Him holding my head to his chest like a child- just holding me. That was all I needed...There wasn't a moment He left me. Sometimes I would catch myself straying away, and all I had to do was turn around and there He was. There were nights I cried out to Him more than I ever could have opened up in a counselors' office. I yelled at him, I cursed His name- I told Him if this was His idea of love- I didn't want it. I told Him everyhing- I blamed Him at times, and I begged for Him to show me His purpose for the bad things in my life. The way I look at not being in professional counseling on this Earth is that I was held back from that to receive the wise counsel from God Himself! One on one- 24 hrs a day- 7 days a week! What He knew that I didn't was my idea of love is not His idea of love. And so the teaching began.
God answered my prayers little by little. Life wasn't easy by any means at this point, but at least I had a friend. I had a reason to live. I had life inside of me- even if no one else could see it.
I tell my kids to this day what I heard from Brad one night at church. He was telling us not to "flaunt" our faith...that when we belong to God- our lives should show it- that we shouldn't have to walk up to someone and tell them we are a child of God. His exact words were,
"What you do in the quiet of your room when no one else is looking- everyone will see it!" He was meaning that the more one on one time we spend alone with God and His Word in the quietness of our rooms, the more our lives will reflect His will and His mercy and grace- and THAT my friends is what sets up apart from this world! If its true " we are who we hang out with", and I want to be more like Jesus, wouldn't it make sense to hang out with Him more? So I started reading His Word, the Bible, more and more. Instead of just crying to Him or yelling at Him, or blaming others, I would dive into His Word and just read! He tells us His Word never returns void, and there are passages I have read at least 5,000 times, and each time I read it, God reveals something new to me!
I will forever be grateful for the Counselor I have in God! No matter what happens, He listens. He won't screen your call or tell you what you want to hear. He doesn't sugar coat things, and He will always be consistent. His love NEVER fails! He has conquered the evil in our lives and He has conquered the grave! He wants us more than we want Him. He wants to love us more than we know how to love Him. When we are in the depths of our sin, its His hand who reaches in. No- He doesn't wait for us to crawl out and take a shower- He reaches His hand in and pulls us OUT! He washes us in His blood- He cleans us and purifies us! He makes us into HIS OWN IMAGE!
Everyone needs and wants a friend they can TRUST! Do you know my friend? His name is Jesus! He lives locally- no matter where you are! You don't even have to have a messaging plan to find Him. You don't have to pray to anyone to get to Him- His name is Jesus. Just call His name, and He will answer! He tells us, "Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who seeks finds, and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." Matthew 7:7-8.
No matter how hard your life is right now, no matter what you are going through, no matter how alone you are- if you are suffering with marital problems, parenting issues, death surrounding you, divorce, sexual abuse, verbal abuse, drug and alcohol addiction, sex addiction, suicidal thoughts- ANYTHING! There is FREE counseling available! It is God Himself- the Creator of the entire universe. I know He is a wonderful counselor! I know because I am one of His patients! He is an ORGANIC healer too- He uses all natural medicine such as Love, mercy, grace, and ultimately He sacrificed His own blood to HEAL us! It's time for your daily dose- so wake up, sit up, and get on the list to be seen by the Might Counselor today! He has an appointment available right now- you don't even have to wait on someone to cancel! What do you need to talk to God about today?
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