Saturday, March 3, 2012

If you could do over, would you?

I took a night off from the blog last night because there were tornadoes surrounding our entire state.  Apparently everyone thought my house was one of the safest, so my house was the safe haven!  I love it!  Would have a house full of people every day if I could afford to feed them....;)

So tonight,  I went to see "The Vow". It's a movie about a happily married couple that's in a severe car accident and the wife no longer remembers her husband after the incident.  The movie is about her husband's journey to making his wife fall in love with him again!  I really enjoyed this movie because parts of it reminded me of my own life. 

It reminded me that first of all- life is short!  Our lives are summed up in a dash!  The dash in between two dates on our tombstones.  We all will have one.  The dates on each tombstone are all different, but the dashes- they're all the same.  We are given one life, sometimes multiple chances at that life, but only one life. 

It was amazing to me to watch her in this movie.  It was interesting how she reverted back to her old way of life before she forgot who she was.  She "tried" living that life again- thinking that's who she was...but she ended up living out her life the EXACT way she chose originally- before the accident. 

It's ironic to think about this for me.  Without the "life- changing" events in our lives, would we be where we are today? What if we had to choose all over again the life which we currently live? Would we choose it? 

What if God gave each of us a blank palette and said, "Paint your life the way you want it.  You can place any event in there, any riches, any fame, anything!  You choose- but I can not guarantee that your choices will lead you the same place I have." If God painted my life abstractly, would I change it to realistic- or vice versa?

After pondering on this idea of total control- which we all think we want, I have concluded that I would choose to hand the blank palette back and say, "Paint an EXACT REPLICA of what you have already done.  Do NOT leave out the part where I died, the rape, the divorce, the miscarriage, the tears, the hurt, the pain, the suffering...in fact- take those same events and not only paint them on here, but help me to learn more from them so that this paint drips off onto someone else's palette who needs color.  Bring it to life!"

At the end of the day, we are clay.  We are the clay that God molds into the image He chooses.  We are His sculptures- and it is Him who brings us to life! Are you alive? Or have you become a nothing living in regret and shame and self- pity?  Some of the most beautiful pieces of art are created by the scraps- and ALL of our lives have scraps!  God tells us that we are a new creation when we allow the Holy Spirit to live in us.  He uses the scraps of what we call our own life and he molds it!  He sculptures it, He loves it, He cares for it.  He paints each creation and calls it His own.  He works on it so long and hard that eventually it begins to look like Him. 

That is why I wouldn't change "my dash".  I want people when I am gone to look at that dash and see no regret, no shame, no self- pity.  I want them to look at that dash and see Christ- to see that I relied on God to make the most of my timeline.  That I was never perfect, nor ever claimed to be, and actaully failed miserably most of the time, but that is was God who's Glory was shown through this life. 

So although I may not remember my few years here on this Earth the way others do, and I may need to be reminded sometimes of events that happened in my life-  I will ALWAYS trust that God in control- and rest in the fact that I can mess my entire life up, but I will always revert back to the person He chose for me to be!  I think I will choose to let Him lead me so I don't waste time in my dash just to end up where I should have been all along! 

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